UNTIL

Now...at the age of seven....i was allowed to have my very first sleepover...

Whoopi..

I'm truly a big girl now....

Her name was Kj....she was my blessing...our friendship changed my life....

a girl playmate...

a best friend....

We went to school everyday together...played in the playground...come home and play some more....she resided in the apartments next to my house.....her apartment complex and my home shared a common walk way...we would cut through the common area to reach each other's place of residence....((smilining))....she was my first best friend...

and as fate has left me....my first and only.

Mom.....can Kj stay over for the weekend...

her mom says its okay...if it's okay with you..

Why not...of course she can stay..

YES!

That night, Kj and I went to my room and played until we were exhausted...Kj slept on my bottom bunk and i on my big girl's top bunk...

Like clock work..my uncle's shadow of him and the folded chair, reached my bedroom door before first....i was prepared...it's what I'm used to...No...i didn't cry....just wanted it over so i may go to sleep...i hated when he wakes me up..I'd rather wait up for him..and then go to sleep..

WOW!

I got a break...i was able to sleep..my uncle didn't use his chair for me tonight...he stayed on the bottom bunk with Kj...i was pleased....i slept peaceful for the first time in my life...

Great Rest!

The next morning...

Mom, where is Kj.....where is she...i can't find her anywhere....

Judy, she went home late last night....is there anything you want to tell me?

NO...Is something wrong?

YES...

WHAT?

Kj, left the house running late last night..her mother called and said that Maury (my uncle) had rapped her...

Does Maury touch you?

Does Maury touch you in your private areas?

Yes, mom....all the time..

How does he touch you Judy?

He uses his mouth and his toy to put me to sleep..

Mommy, my stepfather touches me too...he tells me he wants me to be a good girl...He would separate my brother and I with his paddle....Judy, go to the bathroom....you've been bad...your going to be taught how to be a good girl...in the bathroom, my stepfather, would put himself inside of me, while bended over the toilet...i was made to cry loud so G would become a good boy too..

My Mommy, she went crazy hearing this....she tried to kill her brother..she went after his tail with every and anything she could get her hands on....

But,

Now, I've lost her totally....she was unable to handle reality since that day....

My brother, G and I, had to move with our paternal grandmother....Mommy, was institutionalized....and now to current date classified as a paranoid schizophrenic.