My Marriage

Well let's just say....it wasn't sweet and tasty..

I learnt what my responsibilities where/are in our marriage.

He was are ruler...and I was the child with the children..((Laughing out loud))..

The children and I were an annoyance..how about and intereferes...Oh...oh....a nuisance, that he couldn't pay to rid of.

Why say that?

Well...

Our marriage started off completely wrong...I was a teenage mom..young and vulnerable..

Vulnerable due to my home with grand mom..We struggled through the years.

Raised without heat, hot water, and a stove..((laughing again))...since i first took residency there..Don't get me wrong...I'm not complaining...I know it was the best she could do, due to her financial situation and without any support from either parent.

Being that....

I'm a teenage mom....I wanted better for my child.

I wanted to raise " Proper".

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, RIGHT?

I wanted her to feel the warmth of a home in the winter...to take hot showers.....to prepare her meals on the stove......and for her to be comfortable bringing her friends home.

It's obvious, Fred and I aren't going to be together....He's up at that school carrying on....Sometimes he comes home...most times he didn't.

So I meant my husband, Clay....

Like i said earlier....I knew his family for years...He and Clark had divorced...I never looked at him like, someone I would be with..dang....he's much older than I.

I mean.....When I was thirteen, his first child was born..and by the time i reached fifteen...his second child was born..These two lovely ladies..would eventually become my stepdaughters...

So as I started....he was much older then me.

I don't know what happened...and how we started dating...I was actually attracted to his friend Wayne, who at the time was closer in age...he was only three years older..

But, Wayne didn't ask me out, Clay did.

He watched me put, my child into her father's car on a Friday evening....yup...my baby was leaving me for the weekend..Clay witnessed this event.

Hey Judy....looks like your child has left ..is she gone for the weekend?

YES!

Oh...so, what you going to do?

Just relax.

Well, why don't you let me take you to the movies?

Ummmmm.....alright.

Saturday, we ended up at the movies....and we where together ever since.

We get pregnant...I move in with him...and these began to change.

The new beginning..

From the beginning, I new something wasn't right. But, I'm again with child...I want my children to grow up with two parents....I can make this work.

It wasn't an easy task..

He was an alcoholic and a drug abuser when we first met........NO, I didn't know.

I mean, now thinking back, I can see..before he and I started dating. Clay and his co-workers met on my block every evening after work. Before they left, everyone had an bottle of beer and some Seagram's gin. It was pretty cool...they all seemed to be having fun.

I didn't realize until later, that this was the beginning of our problem.